Where did all the dust-bunnies come from?

As any repeat reader of my blog can attest, I generally blog when I can't sleep because I have too many things buzzing through my brain. Such is the case tonight, so I thought I would fight off the ginormous dust-bunnies that are trying to colonize my poor neglected blog and fill you guys in on life changes around here. (I'm also prepping for my Christmas letter, so this is sort of a first draft.)

Major update highlights for this year: I am no longer an only child! Months ago, my long lost paternal half sister and I finally found each other! She is a fabulous person and we hope to meet in person as soon as we can manage it. I am just going to call her "T" or Sis here to protect her privacy when I talk about her. T is six years older than I am and is married with two beautiful step-daughters and one handsome son. She has had a less than ideal life but was blessed with a loving adoptive Dad who still stays actively involved in her life. I'm her only sister (which is super cool from my perspective!)

Dad is still fighting the good fight and recently had another operation to remove more cancerous tissue. He is ornery and doesn't go to the doctor for half of the things he probably should but he assures me he is not going to give up any time soon. He has lost weight (much more than would be healthy) for over a month and is struggling to keep enough nourishment in his system to even stay hydrated and maintain his weight. My grandfather swears he is starting to look like a toothpick.

Dad's hospital stay after his last operation was much longer than they originally anticipated which left Samantha in the care of a family friend who didn't have the proper paperwork to seek medical treatment for her in case there were an emergency. The Army considered the situation a child care emergency and granted emergency leave to my husband so he could drive to Texas to pick up Samantha and her mass amounts of equipment and bring her back home to live with us again.

MY CHILDREN ARE ALL UNDER THE SAME ROOF FOR THE FIRST TIME - EVER!!!!

We are still working out all the details that go into meeting Sam's needs but the good news is that my body has held up surprisingly well to all the lifting and moving involved in her day to day care! Things are VERY busy around here because we don't have nursing help set up for Samantha yet and adding all of her daily requirements to the already hectic schedule of three small boys has been... interesting to say the least! We have not had the jealousy from the boys that I expected. They have all been exceptionally sweet with their sister and mostly argue over who gets to help take care of her. I have been blessed with some wonderful kiddos and I can't wait to see what wonderful and compassionate men they will grow into as a result of growing up with our beautiful girl!

Auron started school this year and is doing great! He loves his teacher and has made lots of friends. Focus is a bit of a problem for him, but he IS mine after all! He is turning into such a sweet little gentleman and I am so pleased with the tender personality that he is growing into. Xander doesn't look like a baby any more. He has grown so much this year and looks so much more like a little boy now. He is a very loving child and constantly follows me through the house kissing my hands and hugging me. He has one of the most beautiful smiles I've ever seen and a giggle to match! Drayden is almost a year old and just started walking. He is bursting with WAY more personality than the average twelve month old. He dances every time he hears a beat, wags his pointer finger at you when he is talking to you, giggles and smiles all the time, and ADORES Auron.

I am feeling very BLESSED and thankful for so many reasons. Please keep us all in your thoughts and prayers as we always need them, and special prayers for my Mom and Dad would be much appreciated!

The Good, The Bad & The Future...

So, today is my birthday and in two days I fly back to North Carolina. I am both happy and sad. I am looking forward to being in my own space again (and WAY happy that I will have my good bed back soon). Darrell gets 18 days of R&R shortly after the boys and I get back home and I am ecstatic about being in my husband's arms again! I'm looking forward to restoring the routine that helps the boys behavior so much, but has been impossible to keep during our visit to Texas.

I am NOT looking forward to leaving my daughter behind again. I know that being here with my Mom & Dad is truly in her best interest right now. I know that the same routine the boys thrive under in North Carolina would not work as well for Samantha. I know that my parents do a brilliant job of caring for her and creating an environment where she has grown and flourished. I know that she has reached SO MANY developmental milestones since she moved in with them, and I am certain she would not have reached them as quickly as she has, had it not been for the encouragement, love and support that she receives here. (Not just from my parents and grandparents, but from our entire church family and close friends.)

Even knowing that I am doing the best thing I can for her right now, it breaks my heart for her to be away from us. Her brothers love her and enjoy playing with her more than I could have ever dreamed they would, and they miss her almost as much as I do when she isn't with us. I think that it wouldn't hurt so much to leave her here if I thought I could meet her needs as well or better than they do here... But that is the kicker. KNOWING that I am not able to meet my beautiful girl's needs (and that someone else can) kills me inside. And I am so afraid of the day when she will get too big for any of us to properly meet her needs... at least right now she is with people who love her and will protect her from the bad and ugly things in this world. I pray that God takes us all home long before I have to put my daughter's care into the hands of strangers.

Hello Blogland!

I promise I did not fall completely off the face of the planet... just mostly.

I'm back in Texas and to tell you the truth I have been having a rough time here. It isn't really that anyone has said or done anything wrong. My family has been wonderful and I have only had a few minor "family issues". I think most of it stems from not having my own space. I'm basically sleeping in my grandfather's closet. Now before you think "how terrible!" let me explain that it IS a bedroom with a queen sized bed (horribly uncomfortable mattress, but I'll live). But I don't really have the luxury of privacy while I'm here. All the dresser drawers and closet space in the spare room are Pop's while all the rest of the closets in the house are Mam's. (Yes, I come by my clothing obsession genetically.) So any time he needs to get ready for church or anything he has to come into the room and move my stuff around to GET to his stuff.

Samantha's operation went well. We think her VNS stopped working the day before her operation but she is doing great now. We drove into Houston the same weekend that Hurricane Ike hit so finding a hotel with electricity, running water AND no "new" trees in the lobby (via the roof) was a trick! After driving around Houston for three hours we finally found one with a generator. The elevator was out so we all (Mom, Dad, Me, Samantha, Auron AND Xander) had to get up and down the stairs, but we lucked out and they had a room on the second floor. Dad also had his visit with MD Anderson while we were in Houston and they think he is now a great candidate for surgical intervention! (This increases his ten year survival odds from 5% here to closer to 70% there!) Sam has another minor operation coming up in a few weeks. She has grown so much in the past ten months that her feeding tube is too small and causing her tummy to bleed from the pressure. It is only slightly more invasive then, for example, changing out a tongue ring.

I am going to share some photos of the kids in their costumes because I'm not sure I will have the chance to blog again before the end of the month. I took these to send in a Halloween themed care package to Darrell! I hope everyone is doing well and, as always, we could use all the prayers and good thoughts you could send our way!

Until next time, God Bless!

My Beautiful Kiddos...

My Beautiful Kiddos all in one place again!

Just as it should be (if life were perfect and Darrell was home).

Samantha's operation has been postponed (insurance complications) so PLEASE keep her in your prayers. We need to have her VNS replaced before the battery completely dies so that her seizures do not come blaring back at full throttle. Her brain is no longer used to that level of seizure activity and a sudden return to it could prove fatal very quickly. We hope that we can get everything worked out and rescheduled for next week (the same time Dad has to be there for his Cancer check up).

So please just pray that everything goes well and the timing works out!

Crazy Mommies and babies in wells...

I'm sure I looked like a complete irrational idiot to my new neighbors today.

Anyone who knows me is accustomed to the fact that I border on neurotic when it comes to the safety of my children.

For this reason Auron knows that he is NEVER to be out of my sight line while he plays outside.

Kids get snatched and step off curbs and fall into drainage systems way too fast and easy for me to be comfortable with the idea of one of my kids wandering the neighborhood unattended.

I took Auron outside to play earlier today and noticed that our new neighbors who just moved in across the courtyard were outside. Two boys older than Auron and one younger. I walked across the courtyard to introduce myself while Auron made friends with the new kids. The boys were playing nicely close to the end of one of the buildings while the moms chatted.

I looked away for what had to have been less than five seconds and when I looked back up to check on Auron...

He was gone.

I immediately jumped up (still holding Xander on my hip) and started calling for Auron and running towards the last place he had been. I called for him eight different times while frantically walking around two buildings.

He didn't answer once.

By the time I found him (perfectly safe and not missing any limbs) I was so worked up I could hardly speak.

I did not excuse myself.

I did not say "goodbye, nice to meet you" to the new neighbor.

I grabbed Auron by the arm and walked as fast as his little legs would allow us to back inside our house while telling him in a near hysterical pitch that

"you know you are NEVER EVER TO GO WHERE MOMMY CAN'T SEE YOU!!!!".

Once we got inside the house and I could put Xander down I quickly dissolved into tears.

I told Auron how badly he had scared me and that it would be so easy for someone to take him or hurt him if he wanders off like that.

We live on post and for the most part I know that it is highly unlikely that anyone would take him or purposely hurt him here. The thing I was most worried about are the huge drainage areas that are everywhere here where a toddler could very easily fall into the open sides and be gone in a matter of seconds.

I lived about 30 miles from where baby Jessica fell into a well (for any of you who remember that story) and that ordeal stuck with me all these years.

I was so afraid today that I just held him and cried because I was so thankful I found him safe.

Bed time prayer (Auron's way)...

This was WAY too cute not to share.

(I shot this video with my phone today, so I'm sorry for the poor quality.)

I TRIED to teach him:

"Now I lay me down to sleep. I pray the Lord my soul to keep. Angels watch me through the night and wake me with the morning light. Amen."

What he actually says:

"Now I lay me down to sleep. I pray the Lord I sorta keep. Angels watch me through the night and wake me with the morning light. Amen!"

Mall Photo Booth...

Westboro VS. Fort Bragg...

Them:

US:

I went to this rally expecting a negative experience. What I got instead, was a wonderful feeling that I am not here alone. I am surrounded by tons of people in this extended family that is the Army, and people who genuinely appreciate the sacrifices our families make.

To see the love poured out for our troops in such a visual and very vocal way was nothing short of awe inspiring! Traffic was backing up like crazy because of all the people slowing down (and outright stopping) to honk and show their support.

I have been in a GREAT mood since I left the rally this morning. Who would have thought that a day that started by me gearing up to face off with some of the most hate filled people on the planet, would turn out to be one of the best days I have had in awhile?!

While there were a few in our crowd who went to low (and amusing) blows, most of it was just very positive and supportive of our troops and their families. Although I have to admit i enjoyed the sign pointed towards Westboro that read: "Oh, just drink the Kool-aid already!"

Fire ants suck...

I have spent the last three days comforting a very sick little Auron.
He sat in a fire ant mound outside our house and got between 15 and 20 bites before I could get all his clothes off of him. He ran 103 degree fever and was miserable for three days because of it. Poor guy.
The doctor said it wasn't an allergic reaction... just a reaction.
Needless to say, he plans to avoid ant hills in the future.

Auron's first prayer...

In case you can't understand his words, I will translate:

God is great, God is good, Let us thank you for our food. And God bless us Army Guys. (Originally God bless Daddy Army Guy, but changed when Auron decided he was an "Army Guy" too) AMEN!

Man! Is my kid GREAT or what!?

My handsome little guy...

He wants to be just like Daddy.

It makes me smile!

Praises to Sing!

In February my Dad got the results of his first MRI. It showed a dozen or more large cancerous spots throughout his liver. The doctor told him that he had 4 to 18 months to live... tops. They told us that he would not get better with chemo. The goal of chemo was simply to keep him alive as long as we could.

He had another MRI done this month to see how fast the cancer was progressing and spreading.

The doctor is still scratching his head.

PRAYER WORKS.

My Dad's most recent MRI shows only three or four spots on his liver... and those are SHRINKING.

The battle is far from over. My Dad still has quite a fight ahead of him. But, as of Monday, he is WINNING!

Thank you all for your continued prayers and support.

God Bless You All!!!

Box Boy!!!!

T-"Bawl"...

I find it exceptionally amusing that I can be a perfectly functioning human one moment and at the drop of a hat bawl like a newborn. There is no real warning about what will set me off now days. It happens out of the blue several times a week and sometimes, like today, several times a day.

Before long every major store in this town will think my family is nuts!

Today it was a t-ball mitt that set me off bawling through the isles of Target.

My husband is not a huge fan of baseball or softball. He prefers other sports. I like t-ball and baseball and softball.

I used to love to watch my Dad play in the church league and got a kick out of watching my cousin Tim steal home at least once in almost every baseball game he played. (I am horrible at sports so I sit in the stands and cheer.)

I have dressed Auron in baseball themed clothing from the day we brought him home from the hospital.

Dad never got a son to play catch with, and I was too girly to want to learn, so I have looked forward to Dad teaching Auron to play for the past two years.

Walking down an isle at Target today I saw a tiny blue t-ball mitt and showed it to Auron.

He put his hand in it and said "ball?".

I was doing OK until Darrell leaned down and said: "When you get a little bigger I will get a mitt and teach you to play catch."

It suddenly hit me that my Dad might not be around to help teach him and to cheer beside me in the stands at his games.

It isn't that I don't want Darrell to teach him... it just isn't the way I always pictured it.

We were having a perfectly good day and I suddenly get side-swiped by this huge wave of emotion!

GGGGGRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!

As if being hormonal and pregnant wasn't enough!

This Sucks!

dizzy...

OK... I don't really have the energy for a real post today, so you guys get another cute video of my son! This was taken on New Years Day when he had just figured out how to make himself dizzy. I promise to update you all soon... life is just a bit too much right now to go into detail. Enjoy!

Auron rocks out!

The amazing STUNT-BOY!!!...

This just goes to prove that great stuntmen are not trained... They are born that way. I apparently gave birth to a natural stuntman. He is constantly running into walls and flinging himself off of the furniture. I originally thought it was just because he is a boy... I am slowly starting to grasp the idea that his antics may have a deeper purpose. How to describe it? Well... Let me just show you...

Auron: Stunt-boy in training...

My son is a nut!

My goofy son...

Enjoy! :)

Cute kids!...

So much has happened lately and I simply do not have the time to write about it all yet! So, until I can fill you all in on life in general, I thought I would send some great pictures of my kids!

Auron playing at the mall...