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Sunday, March 18, 2007


I find it exceptionally amusing that I can be a perfectly functioning human one moment and at the drop of a hat bawl like a newborn. There is no real warning about what will set me off now days. It happens out of the blue several times a week and sometimes, like today, several times a day.

Before long every major store in this town will think my family is nuts!

Today it was a t-ball mitt that set me off bawling through the isles of Target.

My husband is not a huge fan of baseball or softball. He prefers other sports. I like t-ball and baseball and softball.

I used to love to watch my Dad play in the church league and got a kick out of watching my cousin Tim steal home at least once in almost every baseball game he played. (I am horrible at sports so I sit in the stands and cheer.)

I have dressed Auron in baseball themed clothing from the day we brought him home from the hospital.

Dad never got a son to play catch with, and I was too girly to want to learn, so I have looked forward to Dad teaching Auron to play for the past two years.

Walking down an isle at Target today I saw a tiny blue t-ball mitt and showed it to Auron.

He put his hand in it and said "ball?".

I was doing OK until Darrell leaned down and said: "When you get a little bigger I will get a mitt and teach you to play catch."

It suddenly hit me that my Dad might not be around to help teach him and to cheer beside me in the stands at his games.

It isn't that I don't want Darrell to teach him... it just isn't the way I always pictured it.

We were having a perfectly good day and I suddenly get side-swiped by this huge wave of emotion!


As if being hormonal and pregnant wasn't enough!

This Sucks!


La Pura Vida said...

I can't wait till we have kids and get to look foward to things like that. It will probably be things like karate class and ballet, but the sentiment is still the same. It's truly amazing what channels through our life and how we picture things and what actually happens.

You and your family are still in my thoughts and prayers. (As well as the those of my family.)

If you want to get in touch,this is my hotmal account:



Your cousin

Black Bran said...

ur pregnant!?

dun worry, ur not alone. i dont even have the hormone excuse on my side

..then again, milk products do *seemingly* increase my 'estrogen' levels ]:

guttergirl said...

Pregnancy hormones are horrible. Add that to the rest of the stuff you are dealing with and I am impressed that you can even get out of bed in the morning. I don't think I could. Stay strong my friend. BTW, I love the mood ring sign. I might have to steal it.

Melissa said...

la pura vida - life can chunk some wicked curve balls! I think you will be a great mom no matter what life throws your way!

black bran - where in the world have you been?! Yes, I'm due in August, but I never fully bake my buns, so I will be lucky to make the end of July. (side note: I'm just as crazy without the extra hormones) :)

guttergirl - OH... if only my two year old wouldn't demolish the tin can we live in... I would probably LIVE in bed right now! (if only there were not a small human inside me there would also be a growing pile of empty wine bottles next to the bed) Alas! My life will not allow me to stay drunk and unconcious! :) Steal away girl! I got it from internetbumperstickers.com

Black Bran said...

[deep nose inhalation]
[cheesy ha'smile]
the usual.