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Thursday, November 23, 2006

God Bless Robin Williams!

I have been a Robin Williams fan for years. My Dad forwarded an email to me that I liked so much I just had to share! So here you go...

THE PLAN...

Robin Williams, wearing a shirt that says "I love New York" in Arabic.

You gotta love Robin Williams...... Even if he's nuts!

Leave it to Robin Williams to come up with the perfect plan What we need now is for our UN Ambassador to stand up And repeat this message.

Robin Williams' plan... (Hard to argue with this logic!)

"I see a lot of people yelling for peace But I have not heard of a plan for Peace. So, here's one plan."

1) "The US will apologize to the world for our "interference" in their affairs, Past & present. You know, Hitler, Mussolini, Stalin, Tojo, Noriega, Milosevic, Hussein, And the rest of those "good ole boys", we will never "interfere" again.

2) We will withdraw our troops from all over the world, starting with Germany, South Korea, the Middle East, and the Philippines. They don't want us there. We would station troops at our borders. No one allowed sneaking through holes in the fence.

3) All illegal aliens have 90 days to get their affairs together and leave We'll give them a free trip home. After 90 days the remainder will be gathered up and deported immediately, Regardless of whom or where they are. They're illegal!!! France will welcome them.

4) All future visitors will be thoroughly checked and limited to 90 days unless given a special permit!!!! No one from a terrorist nation will be allowed in. If you don't like it there, change it yourself and don't hide here. Asylum would never be available to anyone. We don't need any more cab drivers or 7-11 cashiers.

5) No foreign "students" over age 21. The older ones are the bombers. If they don't attend classes, they get a "D" and it's back home baby.

6) The US will make a strong effort To become self-sufficient energy wise. This will include developing nonpolluting sources of energy but will require a temporary drilling of oil in the Alaskan wilderness. The caribou will have to cope for a while .

7) Offer Saudi Arabia and other oil producing countries $10 a barrel for their oil. If they don't like it, we'll go someplace else. They can go somewhere else to sell their production. (About a week of the wells filling up the storage sites would be enough.)

8) If there is a famine or other natural catastrophe in the world, we will not "interfere." They can pray to Allah or whomever, for seeds, rain, cement or whatever they need. Besides most of us know that what we give them, is stolen or given to the army. The people who need it most get very little, if anything.

9) Ship the UN Headquarters to an isolated island someplace. We don't need the spies and fair weather friends here. Besides, the building would make a good homeless shelter or lockup for illegal aliens.

10) All Americans must go to charm and beauty school. That way, no one can call us "Ugly Americans" any longer.

11) The Language we speak is ENGLISH..learn it...or LEAVE... Now, isn't that a winner of a plan?

The Statue of Liberty is no longer Saying

"Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses.

She's got a baseball bat and she's yelling,

'you want a piece of me?' "



US Search.com, Inc.

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

Fourteen...

* UPDATE *
Samantha's operation went well. She is now back home and back to giving her little brother a hard time... Just where a big sister needs to be!!!
Thank you all for your thoughts and prayers!


I should be sleeping.



Tomorrow is going to be a very long day.



Tomorrow will mark our fourteenth very long day in the past



6 years, 11 months and 8 days.



That is how old my beautiful little girl is and as of tomorrow how many operations she has had to endure in her life thus far.



You would think it would be easy by now.



You would think I would be able to sleep soundly the night before an operation, if for no other reason than I know for a fact how exhausting tomorrow will be.



A mother's heart defies logic.



Maybe I'm a bit more tense about this operation than I should be.



It is a relatively minor procedure (comparatively speaking).



She needs tubes in her ears again. This will be set number four.



This will also be the first operation she will go through with a DNR in place.



It would devastate me to loose her.



She is such a bright light in my life and I'm not sure I could hold myself together if the worst case scenario played out.



Most parents never have to deal with the idea of letting their child go that way.



Most parents worry about letting their child go away to college or to start a family of their own.



I have had to struggle and slowly accept the fact that putting her on life support or resuscitating her (again) is not in her best interest.



I want to be selfish and keep her with me forever, but if it is her time to go...



I know she will be waiting for me in Heaven when I get there...



And she will walk...



And she will run...



And she will laugh and play and sing...



I love her so much that I am willing to let her go when she is ready.



I will treasure every day I have with her until that time comes and I pray that I have many more years with her before we have to face that temporary separation known as death.



I'm sure she will come through this operation just fine, but what about the next one? Or the one after that?



She has been through so much in such a short time.



I wonder if she knows what an amazing inspiration she is to me.



I wonder if she realizes how many lives she has touched through her struggles.



Please pray for my beautiful girl.



If you don't pray than please send good thoughts our way.



Its just one more number...



Fourteen.

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Saturday, November 18, 2006

Of boobs and bras...



I know that I blab on here from time to time about wanting to get my boobs chopped off, but I don’t think I have ever gone into details about why I want it done. So, to fill in those of you who do not know me personally… 34G.
For all you guys out there who have no real concept of what that particular number means… 34 inches is the measurement just under my bust around my ribcage… G is my cup size… again translation is needed… typical cup sizes run like this: the number of inches difference between your ribcage measurement and the measurement straight across the fullest portion of your bust will equal your cup size. (most cup sizes run: A; B; C; D; DD; DDD; E; F; G; H; HH; etc..) Different brands sometimes throw in changes like going straight from a DD cup to an E cup, but the above example is how they size the brands I like the most.
If you were counting, that means there is a NINE INCH difference between my rib measurement and the fullest part of my bust. It is more like a 9 & ½ inch difference but it is very hard to find pretty bras when you get past a G cup. (They all start looking like medical contraptions or medieval torture devices after that!)
It isn’t just the total lack of snazzy lingerie that causes the intense urge to have the things chopped off… it’s the massive back spasms I deal with on a nightly basis and the pain that never seems to completely go away. (not to mention the balance issues that arise!)
I just spent a full week flat on my back unable to move because the spasms were so bad last Thursday that I could no longer tell if my back was the culprit of my pain or if it was my chest and stomach that were making breathing such a difficult and unpleasant task. I hurt so badly I was honestly afraid I was dying at home alone with my terrified son watching and sobbing right along with me.
I dialed 911 and was rushed by ambulance to the emergency room… where they promptly unloaded me from the ambulance into the WAITING ROOM of the ER. (Did I mention that health care here SUCKS?!)
Two emergency room visits, two chiropractor adjustments, one solid week of wanting someone to shoot me and put me out of my misery, and one only slightly uncomfortable work over by my WONDERFUL massage therapist friend later (You are the greatest EVER Heather!)… and I’m back up to no good!
Don’t get me wrong… Having a huge rack does have its up side too. If it didn’t hurt so badly, and I could actually find clothes that fit me properly, I wouldn’t mind keeping them. You don't understand t
he clothes thing?
OK… by my measurements I should wear a size 10 in my hips, a size 12 in my waist, and a size 20 across my bust. I am an upside-down pear!
I guess when it comes right down to it… that is the only thing that worries me about a breast reduction. I’m not afraid of the pain (with the kind of pain I deal with every day an operation will be cake! I will have good drugs for it!). I’m afraid that once my rack is no longer the most prominent feature on my body, that people will start to notice that I’m no longer cute and skinny underneath it. It isn’t that I don’t think fluffy people are beautiful (the most beautiful woman I have ever met was over 250 pounds for most of my life), it is how the general public looks at people who are overweight that pisses me off.
I would love to be one of those people who do not give a crap what everyone thinks of them, but I’m not.
I have always been very aware and fragile to what others think of me.
People attack my family or friends and I turn into their worst nightmare to defend those I love, but I do not have the ability or the self-esteem to defend myself.
What if they think I’m fat?
Will anyone still see me as beautiful?
Will I?

Relax The Back




Wednesday, November 08, 2006

If I had a money tree...

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People who have money to spare don't really think much about the fact that they CAN afford to buy things. Most of them are aware that money does NOT buy happiness, but very few of them realize how much stress they are not forced to deal with by living paycheck to paycheck. I am a happy person. No, I am a BLESSED person. I KNOW what a blessing it is to see my children wake up smiling at me and to fall asleep every night in the arms of my prince charming. Money would not make me any happier than I am now, but it would probably make me a much more pleasant person to be around. I worry about bills and my family's future all the time. Sometimes, just for fun, I close my eyes and think about how life might be if I didn't always have to scrape together loose change. So, for giggles I thought I would list a few of the things I would do if money grew on trees.

I would set up a special needs trust fund for Samantha.
I would hire a full staff of therapists and nurses to ensure that she had the BEST possible care.
I would buy a HUGE chunk of beautiful land and have a castle built for my family to live in.
The castle would have a chapel that could be rented out for weddings and other special events, and would also serve as a place of employment for the residents of the castle. (I want it to be a residential community for people with various abilities.)
I would buy a wheelchair accessible minivan (Entervan!) so I could take Samantha places without help.
I would fund Angelman Syndrome research.
I would have my own darkroom and photography studio.
I would buy a laptop computer.
I would fight for custody to adopt my nephews.
I would track down the best medical care available in the world for Angelman Syndrome and Fibromyalgia.
I would get a breast reduction and tummy tuck! (and have anything else that was sagging out of shape lifted and tucked!)
I would travel and see THE WORLD!!!!!

Franklin Mint

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

Things I never wanted to know...

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I overheard a conversation between two co-workers today that made my skin crumple up in a most unappealing way. I work in an office building that employs mostly women, so it is not at all unusual that the conversation should turn to something resembling a drunken slumber party truth or dare game. This one however was so much more than I EVER wanted to know... especially about the particular coworkers in question. It went something very similar to this:

Girl 1: So you think he is screwing around on you?
Girl 2: Maybe, not that I really care.
Girl 1: You wouldn't care if he had a girlfriend on the side?
Girl 2: No. I mean I like my husband, and I like him to hold me, but I'm not sure I ever really loved him and I really don't ever want sex.
Girl 1: You don't like sex? I don't either!
My inside voice: If you don't like sex, someone isn't doing it right!
Girl 2: No, I really don't care for it.
Girl 1: I know what you mean about liking your husband. That is the same way I feel about mine. I like him, but there has never been any real passion between us.
My inside voice: Why! Why! Why! Why!
Girl 2: Yeah, so I really don't care if he has a girlfriend. If he gets it someplace else maybe he won't bother me for it!
Girl 1: Yeah, I would rather sleep...

OK... granted both of these women were older than me. But I still can't help but wonder what exactly their husbands aren't doing right that they don't EVER want sex! I also have to wonder what was in their minds when they were getting married...

"Oh, well I like this guy. He isn't too bad to hang out with. Not exactly the prince charming I was hoping for, but I guess he will do."

Marriage is SO not a decision to take lightly, and most definitely not something where you settle for someone less than you deserve! And if you EVER think you would be perfectly OK with the idea of your spouse having an affair... GET HELP!!! That is NOT a healthy relationship!!!!!

OK...

Off my soap box now...


Frederick's of Hollywood, Inc.