I know that I blab on here from time to time about wanting to get my boobs chopped off, but I don’t think I have ever gone into details about why I want it done. So, to fill in those of you who do not know me personally… 34G.
For all you guys out there who have no real concept of what that particular number means… 34 inches is the measurement just under my bust around my ribcage… G is my cup size… again translation is needed… typical cup sizes run like this: the number of inches difference between your ribcage measurement and the measurement straight across the fullest portion of your bust will equal your cup size. (most cup sizes run: A; B; C; D; DD; DDD; E; F; G; H; HH; etc..) Different brands sometimes throw in changes like going straight from a DD cup to an E cup, but the above example is how they size the brands I like the most.
It isn’t just the total lack of snazzy lingerie that causes the intense urge to have the things chopped off… it’s the massive back spasms I deal with on a nightly basis and the pain that never seems to completely go away. (not to mention the balance issues that arise!)
I just spent a full week flat on my back unable to move because the spasms were so bad last Thursday that I could no longer tell if my back was the culprit of my pain or if it was my chest and stomach that were making breathing such a difficult and unpleasant task. I hurt so badly I was honestly afraid I was dying at home alone with my terrified son watching and sobbing right along with me.
I dialed 911 and was rushed by ambulance to the emergency room… where they promptly unloaded me from the ambulance into the WAITING ROOM of the ER. (Did I mention that health care here SUCKS?!)
Two emergency room visits, two chiropractor adjustments, one solid week of wanting someone to shoot me and put me out of my misery, and one only slightly uncomfortable work over by my WONDERFUL massage therapist friend later (You are the greatest EVER Heather!)… and I’m back up to no good!
Don’t get me wrong… Having a huge rack does have its up side too. If it didn’t hurt so badly, and I could actually find clothes that fit me properly, I wouldn’t mind keeping them. You don't understand the clothes thing?
OK… by my measurements I should wear a size 10 in my hips, a size 12 in my waist, and a size 20 across my bust. I am an upside-down pear!
I guess when it comes right down to it… that is the only thing that worries me about a breast reduction. I’m not afraid of the pain (with the kind of pain I deal with every day an operation will be cake! I will have good drugs for it!). I’m afraid that once my rack is no longer the most prominent feature on my body, that people will start to notice that I’m no longer cute and skinny underneath it. It isn’t that I don’t think fluffy people are beautiful (the most beautiful woman I have ever met was over 250 pounds for most of my life), it is how the general public looks at people who are overweight that pisses me off.
I would love to be one of those people who do not give a crap what everyone thinks of them, but I’m not.
I have always been very aware and fragile to what others think of me.
People attack my family or friends and I turn into their worst nightmare to defend those I love, but I do not have the ability or the self-esteem to defend myself.
What if they think I’m fat?
Will anyone still see me as beautiful?