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Saturday, November 18, 2006

Of boobs and bras...

I know that I blab on here from time to time about wanting to get my boobs chopped off, but I don’t think I have ever gone into details about why I want it done. So, to fill in those of you who do not know me personally… 34G.
For all you guys out there who have no real concept of what that particular number means… 34 inches is the measurement just under my bust around my ribcage… G is my cup size… again translation is needed… typical cup sizes run like this: the number of inches difference between your ribcage measurement and the measurement straight across the fullest portion of your bust will equal your cup size. (most cup sizes run: A; B; C; D; DD; DDD; E; F; G; H; HH; etc..) Different brands sometimes throw in changes like going straight from a DD cup to an E cup, but the above example is how they size the brands I like the most.
If you were counting, that means there is a NINE INCH difference between my rib measurement and the fullest part of my bust. It is more like a 9 & ½ inch difference but it is very hard to find pretty bras when you get past a G cup. (They all start looking like medical contraptions or medieval torture devices after that!)
It isn’t just the total lack of snazzy lingerie that causes the intense urge to have the things chopped off… it’s the massive back spasms I deal with on a nightly basis and the pain that never seems to completely go away. (not to mention the balance issues that arise!)
I just spent a full week flat on my back unable to move because the spasms were so bad last Thursday that I could no longer tell if my back was the culprit of my pain or if it was my chest and stomach that were making breathing such a difficult and unpleasant task. I hurt so badly I was honestly afraid I was dying at home alone with my terrified son watching and sobbing right along with me.
I dialed 911 and was rushed by ambulance to the emergency room… where they promptly unloaded me from the ambulance into the WAITING ROOM of the ER. (Did I mention that health care here SUCKS?!)
Two emergency room visits, two chiropractor adjustments, one solid week of wanting someone to shoot me and put me out of my misery, and one only slightly uncomfortable work over by my WONDERFUL massage therapist friend later (You are the greatest EVER Heather!)… and I’m back up to no good!
Don’t get me wrong… Having a huge rack does have its up side too. If it didn’t hurt so badly, and I could actually find clothes that fit me properly, I wouldn’t mind keeping them. You don't understand t
he clothes thing?
OK… by my measurements I should wear a size 10 in my hips, a size 12 in my waist, and a size 20 across my bust. I am an upside-down pear!
I guess when it comes right down to it… that is the only thing that worries me about a breast reduction. I’m not afraid of the pain (with the kind of pain I deal with every day an operation will be cake! I will have good drugs for it!). I’m afraid that once my rack is no longer the most prominent feature on my body, that people will start to notice that I’m no longer cute and skinny underneath it. It isn’t that I don’t think fluffy people are beautiful (the most beautiful woman I have ever met was over 250 pounds for most of my life), it is how the general public looks at people who are overweight that pisses me off.
I would love to be one of those people who do not give a crap what everyone thinks of them, but I’m not.
I have always been very aware and fragile to what others think of me.
People attack my family or friends and I turn into their worst nightmare to defend those I love, but I do not have the ability or the self-esteem to defend myself.
What if they think I’m fat?
Will anyone still see me as beautiful?
Will I?

Relax The Back


L>T said...

my brothers first wife had a breast reduction for some of the reasons you mentioned. she ended up with some very pretty breasts that got lots of attention. You don't have to go flat chested right?

curious, is that kind of surgery covered by insurance?

Melissa said...

l>t - No, I don't have to go flat. In fact my husband has informed me that I am not allowed to go smaller than a D cup! :) The insurance will only cover it with lots of documentation from the doctors treating me telling them it is "medically necessary" instead of being for cosmetic purposes. Thanks for stopping by again! :)

Audrey said...

I have the same problem, not to the extent that you do. But Upside down pear? Definitely. Mine I won't really be able to correct... it all comes down to hips... but anyway! What I wanted to say was I think that in your case your health should take precedence over the more cosmetic aspect of it. I think if you reduce down to Ds you'd be fine! Ds are still plenty big, especially if you are 34" around. I hope that you get it done and I think you will love yourself for it. Be very careful though and choose your surgeon wisely. At least check it out and see what you could do. =D

Good Luck,

starbender said...

What about those women who get the gigantic Torpedo Boobs??? I think they are 'out 2 lunch', what are they going to do when they are 70?

; ]

Melissa said...

audrey - Thanks for stopping by! Us upside down pear girls should stick together! :) I don't think I will have a very hard time convincing the insurance company that it is a medically necessary procedure... and as for my self esteem issues... I have a feeling that my body will feel so much better once the boobs are a more manageable size, that I won't care too much about the cosmetic issues. Thanks again for stopping by! Come back anytime! :)

starbender - Well, the torpedo boobed ladies in their 70's will be able to stay in shape very easy... they can just super glue their nipples together and use them as a jump rope! :b Either that or they will need to tuck them into their socks so they don't trip on them when they walk!!!! (hehehehehehehe) mental picture!!!! EEEEEWWWWWWW!!!!!

Solbearer said...

alrite, i obviously have no experience w/this one but must say that mammaries on a girlfriend r kinda comforting

*prolly says more bout me than anyone else*

but wonder if there are other options, less drastic ones

oh, and i read its not good for women to wear too tight bras, or go to sleep wearin' one

..just like men n' tight briefs. yep. im dead serious. :]

Melissa said...

solbearer - LOL! I have been told on several occasions that they make great pillows and my son tries to "fluff" me when we cuddle! :b