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Sunday, May 06, 2007

Nine days...

Once again I can not sleep.

I have nine days left with my husband.

For those of you in blogland who do not know the news yet... My husband joined the Army. He leaves for basic training on Tuesday May 15th. He will not be home for the birth of our son. I am not looking forward to this situation. I prayed far too long and hard about this to doubt that this was the decision God had made for us. I have no doubts about that.

I do have doubts about how I am going to deal with the reality of going without half of myself for months at a time. I am terrified at the thought that I could loose him in this never ending war. I am angry that so many doors were slammed in our life and this was the only one left open to us. I hate that deployments with the Army are anywhere from six to eighteen months at a time.

I wanted to knock the crap out of the guy in line in front of me at the grocery store today. He paid for sixty dollars worth of chips and dip with his food stamps card and THEN pulled out a wad of fifty dollar bills to pay for his almost TWO HUNDRED dollars worth of beer and wine coolers.

My family of four (going on five) can't afford to both pay bills AND buy groceries, but we were told we made too much money to qualify for any government assistance. After my husband got passed up for the promotion he needed at work we were left with very few options. The Army is where God lead us.

I don't want to be without my husband. I don't want him to miss the birth of this child. I know that things will be tremendously better for our family financially and our health care will be so much better in the military. I know that God has lead us here for a reason. I just hate that life always seems to be so difficult for us.

Please continue to pray for us.

We are SO going to need it!

Gaiam.com, Inc


La Pura Vida said...

I think about you and your family daily. My thoughts and energies go out to you, always postive, always supportive, always with good surrounding them. I really wish that I could just fly down there and help you take care of your kids, take you to Dr. appointments, and be there to just help you chill out when you need it. But alas, our income won't allow for weeks off of work and plane tickets, or gas to go all the way down south. But just know that I would in a heartbeat if I could.

Much love to you and your family. Peace be with you and your husband. Patience be with you during this difficult time. And yes, FUCK THAT GUY AT THE SUPERMARKET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Food stamps, indeed!!!!

~Your Cousin

guttergirl said...

My prayers go out to you and your family. I pray your husband comes home safe and sound.
When I found out we were having twins, my first thought was "OMG, what are we going to do for a car. Ours only seats four." My next thought was that God gave us twins, he will look after the car too. It can be a hard thing to pass over our worries to God. I hope God brings you comfort in the days and weeks to come.
If you ever need to talk, email me and I will send you my number.


Hey sweetie I know your sweet husband left this week for boot camp and I just want you to know that you are in my prayers and if you need anything just ask and me and Frank will do everything to help you. Love you

Melissa said...

la pura vida - We need all the thoughts and prayers we can get! BTW... I think you would melt in the Texas summer heat, but I love that you want to be here for me. :) Much love to you cousin!

guttergirl - thank you SO MUCH! I know God has His plan for us worked out... the getting there just blows chunks. Prayers are much appreciated, this is a very tough time for us. Thanks again!

princess bride - Thanks for checking on me. Things have been hard and knowing I have you there helps a ton. I will call to update you soon... once I can get the things I need to talk about verbalized without a total breakdown. I love you J!