This is Samantha before her first T-ball game today with her father, step-mom, and baby sister Jessi. (I was behind the camera as usual...)

Ok the quality of this picture is not the best... but I do not have many pics of me and the kids... I'm always the one behind the camera. 

Great poem...

IF

by: Rudyard Kipling

If you can keep your head when all about you

Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;

If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,

But make allowance for their doubting too;

If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,

Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,

Or, being hated, don't give way to hating,

And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;

If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;

If you can meet with triumph and disaster

And treat those two imposters just the same;

If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken

Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,

Or watch the things you gave your life to broken,

And stoop and build 'em up with wornout tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings

And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,

And lose, and start again at your beginnings

And never breath a word about your loss;

If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew

To serve your turn long after they are gone,

And so hold on when there is nothing in you

Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on";

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,

Or walk with kings - nor lose the common touch;

If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;

If all men count with you, but none too much;

If you can fill the unforgiving minute

With sixty seconds' worth of distance run -

Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,

And - which is more - you'll be a Man my son!

To my blog buddies...

Dear Blog Friends,
For awhile at least, I will not be posting. I will still read and comment on your blogs. You guys are great, and seem to understand me on a much deeper level than some who know me. It makes me horribly sad that people around me fail to see that I am not self centered... I am Samantha centered. I have very little time for myself. I have very little time for my friends. I have very little time for the rest of my family. I wish I had the time and energy to live up to the expectations that some seem to have for me, but I don't. I am too busy trying to survive. This blog started as a small bit of ME time, late at night after the kids were in bed. Apparently, wanting that has made me a seem like a horrible person to those who have never WANTED to understand me. That is fine. Those who understand me (like my Mom) know that I am not this way. I will post photos and maybe a poem or two (not my own least they be used against me), but this will be the last "me" post for awhile. I have too much to deal with right now to handle attacks against my character. I am an emotional wreck. I will miss you guys. Please do not give up on me... I will be back once some of the turmoil dies down, but for now this is all I can do...

Response to a coward...

This is my last response to hateful comments left a few posts back...

Last note:
I will not respond to you again because I try to waste as little time as possible on moronic jerks.

Check out the web address in your browser… it is www.myVENTspace.blogspot.com.
If you are stupid enough to judge my entire being by these blog entries alone, then you apparently need a refill in that inflatable brain of yours.
This is the place I come to blow off steam about the stupid people and situations I encounter from time to time (like you). I also share what I believe are inspirational stories and thoughts as well as photos.
My family raised me to believe that humor can help you through any trial. We try not to dwell on the crappy stuff going on in our lives for too long. That does not mean we do not stay up nights worried about one another. It simply means we are supportive by being there for each other.
If you really knew my family… you would know that.
You keep saying you want me to change, yet it seems you are the only one with this warped view of who I am. Yes, from time to time, my family and I spew not so nice words at each other, its called communication. I tell my family when they piss me off, and they in turn tell me when I piss them off. We do not go behind each other’s backs. We do not leave hate filled anonymous letters to each other. We get things out in the open where they can be dealt with so we can move on.
If you think I do not care about my Mom, you should ask her some time how violently I react when anyone attacks her weight. You should be there when ANY of my family is in the hospital. I always am.
So if I make jokes and seem to shrug off my Mom’s surgery as a minor thing…
DEAL WITH IT!
You are not in my home when I am up all night worried that she will have trouble breathing after this surgery. You are not beside me when I have nightmares about what my life would be without her. You were not around when I fought the insurance company that tried to deny Mom’s reduction surgery (and won by the way).
So in closing, you ignorant grammatically challenged amoeba,
GO SUCK MY BIG TOE!!!

Rate your life quiz...

This Is My Life, Rated
Life:	5.5
Mind:	4.6
Body:	3.6
Spirit:	7.2
Friends/Family:	6.2
Love:	9.1
Finance:	5.6
Take the Rate My Life Quiz

Yeah!... Wait... AACK!!....

We got a new minivan... No, I got a new minivan... (Yeah!) It is pretty light blue and will eat half my monthly paycheck... But we had no choice really... The other one kept dying on us. My Mom has been watching the baby while Sam is at school so I can get my hours in at work, but we will soon have a MAJOR PROBLEM on our hands. Mom is having BOTH her knees replaced on April 10th and will be out of commission for six to eight weeks. What that means for me is... No sitter for the baby. I can not work nights because they lock the upper floor of the building after nine PM. I need a minimum of twenty-five hours per week to make bills. That means I will likely end up working two twelve and a half hour days per week (my husband's two days off) until Mom is well again. My fibromyalgia will not be pleased by that schedule, but a Mom has to do what a Mom has to do! I am dreading the long hours! (AACK!!) :(

Auron playing at the mall...

My favorite place...

My favorite place to be is wrapped in my husband's arms. I love to put my head on his chest after we have put the kids to bed for the night and just listen to his heart beat. As long as I feel his skin against mine, and his breath moving his chest beneath my cheek, I feel so safe and protected from the world. I feel so lucky that this wonderful man loves me, and wants me, and knows me so well. I am so blessed. I'm not sure why I wanted to share this with you guys, I just did. I am more and more head over heels in love with my husband every day, and I know how lucky that makes me... ::smirk:: Who needs the lotto?! I have LOVE!!!!!

Thought for the day...

I start a part time job on Tuesday. We need the money, and I will be able to set my own schedule around what is best for the kids, but I still feel a bit guilty. I think a bit of time away from them five days a week will make me feel like a "real" person again, yet at the same time, I feel like I should be here for them 24/7/365.
Ahhhh... The inner turmoil of motherhood clashing with the need to make ends meet.