I overheard a conversation between two co-workers today that made my skin crumple up in a most unappealing way. I work in an office building that employs mostly women, so it is not at all unusual that the conversation should turn to something resembling a drunken slumber party truth or dare game. This one however was so much more than I EVER wanted to know... especially about the particular coworkers in question. It went something very similar to this:
Girl 1: So you think he is screwing around on you?
Girl 2: Maybe, not that I really care.
Girl 1: You wouldn't care if he had a girlfriend on the side?
Girl 2: No. I mean I like my husband, and I like him to hold me, but I'm not sure I ever really loved him and I really don't ever want sex.
Girl 1: You don't like sex? I don't either!
My inside voice: If you don't like sex, someone isn't doing it right!
Girl 2: No, I really don't care for it.
Girl 1: I know what you mean about liking your husband. That is the same way I feel about mine. I like him, but there has never been any real passion between us.
My inside voice: Why! Why! Why! Why!
Girl 2: Yeah, so I really don't care if he has a girlfriend. If he gets it someplace else maybe he won't bother me for it!
Girl 1: Yeah, I would rather sleep...
OK... granted both of these women were older than me. But I still can't help but wonder what exactly their husbands aren't doing right that they don't EVER want sex! I also have to wonder what was in their minds when they were getting married...
"Oh, well I like this guy. He isn't too bad to hang out with. Not exactly the prince charming I was hoping for, but I guess he will do."
Marriage is SO not a decision to take lightly, and most definitely not something where you settle for someone less than you deserve! And if you EVER think you would be perfectly OK with the idea of your spouse having an affair... GET HELP!!! That is NOT a healthy relationship!!!!!
OK...
Off my soap box now...
4 comments:
Wow.
These women are two quintessential 'bags of crazy'.
Too many in our society take marriage too lightly.
Great post.
Thanks for the link, too...
~m
michael - thanks! "bags of crazy" is a great way to put it! :) I HAD to add your link... I love your blog! :) Drop by any time!
You know, I am not defending these women or anything... but I went through a period where the last thing I wanted was sex. I can't really explain it. I love David (my boyfriend for 6 years) but I was so stressed out at the time... it was very difficult for us. It got to a point where it hurt for him to even touch me. I've gotten past all that now, but he still has to be very gentle... Maybe it's just a phase or maybe it's just not something that some people like/want to do. Or maybe... when they turn forty they'll leave their husbands for the pool boy?
Either way, it's inappropriate talk for work. =P
audrey - I think that stress is a cold shower for lots of people. Everyone goes through "down time" and I see that as perfectly natural and normal... The thing that killed me the most about the entire conversation had to do with the fact that at least one of them honestly didn't care if her husband was having an affair! I guess that serious one on one commitment is becoming more and more rare. Not for me! I'm very happily a one man kind of woman, and my hubby is way more devoted and understanding towards me than I could ever deserve... I won the commitment lottery with this one! :)
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