Thoughts on Heaven...

I talk from time to time about my FAITH here. (Notice I avoid the word ”religion") I do not believe everything I was raised to believe. (In fact I flat out disagree with some of the teachings I was raised with.) I feel like too many people in this world do many more bad things in the name of *insert God of your choice here*, than they do good and positive things at all.
On a very basic level, it is my personal belief that the only way into Heaven is through the GRACE of God. I do not think it is possible to work your way past the pearly gates. I laugh at anyone who thinks blowing themselves up, and taking out a group of people who believe differently than they do, will get them past Heaven’s gates and into the arms of a group of horny virgins. I mean REALLY! Where do they come up with this stuff?!
I think one of the biggest sins (if any sin is really bigger than another) that anyone can commit is to feel all high and mighty and act like they have the God given right to judge someone else’s life. It irritates the crap out of me when I hear someone say that *insert name of person you dislike* is going to Hell because they *insert action you disagree with*! I believe that the only One who has the RIGHT to judge a person for their beliefs and decisions is God.
I believe that when I die the conversation will go something like this:

Me: Wow! The view from this cloud is AMAZING! You have to come check this out!
God: I know what it looks like. I made it… remember.
Me: Oh, well that’s true. So, I remember reading something about mansions. Are you going to show me which one is mine?
God: Patience my child. First you and I have some things we need to talk about.
Me: Oh crap. Do we have too? Can’t I just say I’m sorry so we can move on to the hugging and welcoming part?
God: That’s not how this works.
Me: (hanging head) I was afraid of that.
(A drive in movie size screen suddenly develops out of the clouds)
Me: Oh, no! Not the BIG screen Lord! Everybody can see it!
God: Uh-huh. That’s kind of the point Kid. Now sit down and get comfortable. I have a lot to show you, and I expect answers to my questions.
Me: (mumbling under my breath) And I thought death was the hard part!
(God chuckles. Moments from my life start flashing across the screen.)
God: Do I need to turn up the volume? I’m not sure I heard what you called me in that last scene.
Me: I was very upset that day Lord. You know I didn’t really mean it.
God: And here? Where you turned away from me like a spoiled two year old because you didn’t get YOUR way, in YOUR time?
Me: I know, Lord. That was childish of me. I’m sorry.
(This goes on for quite a while and then the mood slowly starts to change. New images start to flash across the screen one by one.)
God: Do you remember this day?
Me: Well, it looks kind of familiar, but I can’t seem to place it.
God: You stopped to help a stranger pick up the mail she had dropped. You shared a few kind words with a woman you had never met.
Me: OK. So what makes that so special?
God: You planted a seed of hope in a lonely heart that day. Well done.
Me: But, I don’t understand Lord. It was just a few minuets that I hardly remember. Why are you showing me something so small? Are there no big good things I did in my life?

God: You know about those already. Besides, all of the small moments in life add up to so much more than you can imagine. A kind word to a stranger, a phone call to check on a friend, a prayer you said for someone you didn’t even like. All of the small things that came from your heart, and the compassion you had for those around you that other people pushed away, gave a better view of MY love for them than any single “big” thing you could have done.

Me: So, your saying I didn’t screw things up as bad as I thought?
God: Well, maybe not quite as bad as you thought. But do you have any idea how many times I had to kick you in the behind to get you back on the path you needed to be on?!
Me: Hhhhmmmmm. Well, I guess that gives me the real cause of those massive hemorrhoids I could never seem to get rid of. (giggle)
God: (smiles and shakes head) I’m glad I gave you that sense of humor. You use it quite well. Welcome home Brat.
Me: Thanks Lord, and by the way, sorry for all those “band camp” moments in my life.
I try to live my life so that the good things make a bigger pile than the bad ones. I know that I am SO FAR from perfect that I would be out of luck if I had to work my way into Heaven. But thats whats so great about my God. He made me this way and loves me in spite of myself! That's right. God accepts me for who I am... not just who he wants me to become. Talk about your happy thoughts!